But all the colors mix together to grey

I'm tired. Tired of being tired and not being able to sleep! I take sleeping pills and lay and bed and think and think and think. I'm just so aggravated about so many things right now. Why can't people just be straight-forward and honest about things? How can a person just dodge a direct question and pretend they didn't hear it? Is it better to just deny the truth than to just say it and hurt someone's feeling and get it over with? A real friend will just tell the truth and suffer the consequences of being honest. But I would rather be hurt and know its time to move on, then to continue to hold out hope and be strung along just to be let down later. I obviously don't understand boys, how they think, or how they process emotions. I only understand how I feel I am being treated and how a person reacts to how I treat them. I wish things could just be black and white and maybe then I wouldn't always be lost in the grey areas. I think Dave Matthew's must have known about me when he wrote Grey Street. It could be the theme song to my life. I guess that's why it has always been my favorite DMB song.

Grey Street by DMB

Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street
She thinks, "Hey, how did I come to this?"
I dream myself a thousand times around the world
But I can't get out of this place.
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears he doesn't listen
There's still a hope in her he might
She says "I pray
But they fall on deaf ears, am
I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place? "
There's lonliness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

There's a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It'd take the work out of courage
But she says "Please
There's a crazy man that's creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street
And the end of the world. "
There's an emptiness inside her
And she'll do anything to fill it in
And though it's red blood bleeding from her now
It's more like cold blue ice in her heart

She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She would change everything about her
Using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart
To Grey...