Ah-ah-achoo!

I went home for lunch to eat leftovers from grilling out yesterday. It had gotten considerably warmer outside since I got to work this morning, so I rolled down my windows on the drive home. I park in the driveway and go in and help myself to a nice BBQ sauce covered pork chop. (Note: I do not recommend watching the National Geographic's special on Carnivores while you eat a red saucy pork chop.)

When I go to leave, the man who cuts my neighbor's yard is outside mowing. I smile and wave just as I usually do. Then I get inside my car and realize... I left the windows down. Not that my car was clean to begin with, but now after breathing in all the lovely grass and flower clippings that blew into my car, I can't stop sneezing, my eyes are watering and my nose is running. My Monday just keeps getting better!

DMA Timeout

Replace "PC Load Letter" with "DMA Timeout." Replace the fax machine with a scanner. Replace him with me. That is my morning. It's Monday.

Call It What You Want

Yesterday was my grandmother's billionth birthday. The whole family came to her house for dinner, birthday cake and presents and such. (And yes, I attended - red butt and all.) I like to just sit and listen to the things she and all her sisters say. They never cease to amaze, at least entertain, me.

Grandma: When I flew home from Alaska right after 9/11, I was seated between two of them Koreans. And I was scared, because I didn't know if they were one of those folks that flew them planes into those towers...

My Dad: Mother, I don't think the terrorists were from Korea

Grandma: Well... you never know?

I brought a good friend of mine with me last night. Upon hearing this conversation, I glance over at him out of the corner of my eye. He gives me the "Yes, I heard that and I am trying not to laugh" face. Later on, she was asking me about how things were going. And says... "Are you still enjoying working at that War Eagle?" My brother died laughing. Obviously she meant American Eagle so I just answered the question and no one bothered to correct her. What's the point? She's about 90 and can call it whatever she wants.

Warning: You're an Idiot

I went to the tanning bed again last night. The last time I went I burned a little bit, so I took a couple days off. So last night, I went for the same amount of time rather than bumping it up a bit to make sure I didn't burn again. After being in for a few minutes, my butt and lower back started to get pretty hot so I decided I'd better turn over for the remainder of the minutes. When I got out and was getting dresses I looked in the mirror and was shocked! Everywhere on my backside that had been pressed against the glass was a fiery red. And I mean FIERY! There was a solid line where the redness ended. I thought to myself, "I was only a little pink last time, how could this happen?" as I painfully slid my clothes back on over my burns. Suddenly the light bulb popped up over my head. I'm on antibiotics for a bladder infection. And yes, I seem to recall there being a little warning sticker on the bottle that has a picture of the sun. Upon re-reading reading the warning label, I discover that it says "You should avoid prolonged or excessive exposure to direct and/or artificial sunlight while taking this medicine." Yep. Would have been of great value to me to read that BEFORE I burned half of my backside. I put some aloe on it a couple times last night and its not so bad today. But I won't be getting back in the tanning bed till I am done taking this stuff!

Some Things Never Change

For those of you know don't know, I am a web admin and often receive "tech support" calls for people who are having problems with the website. But you don't have to be in tech support to appreciate this one. Anyone who has ever tried to teach an older relative how to use a computer program, laptop, cell phone, digital camera, etc. will certainly be able to relate. Enjoy!

Gotta Love It!

Do you know what tomorrow is? It's Confederate Memorial Day and I'm so excited. Why? You ask why? Well, obviously... because its a state holiday and I am off work!! That's why!

So, since I have the day off... you must be asking what I will be doing? I am going to buy a lawn mower. Yep. Isn't is exciting? Since the wheels fell off my mower in July of 2006 my yard has not been mowed since. I'm not even a little bit kidding. There are weeds that come up to my shoulders and I am not a short girl. The neighborhood cats LOVE my yard because they can hide from unsuspecting small birds and such. So, I apologize to the cats... but their haven will be gone tomorrow when I bring home my very first own lawn mower. Oh, the excitement. I hope I can sleep tonight!

So, goodnight to all you suckers that have to get up early and go to their jobs!!

Strikes again!

On my way to work this morning, I stopped at the grocery store and bought a 20 oz. Mt. Dew and a strawberry Sunkist. I drank the Mt. Dew and put the Sunkist in the refrigerator at work. I just went to get it, and PRESTO, its gone! The refrigerator "borrower" has struck again!! I am soooo mad!

I mean, I know the drink only cost a dollar and some odd change. That is not the point. The point is, I went out of my way this morning to get a drink that we do not carry in our vending machine here and was saving it for this afternoon because I don't normally carry cash for the vending machine. What do you have to do to protect a drink? Maybe I'll put lipstick prints all over the lid next time and it won't be appetizing to anyone?

I did send out a company wide email saying "If you accidentally picked it up, please let me know." I've gotten some pretty funny responses but I was hoping for a tattle tale. No takers so far. I'll keep you posted.

Pain in the Ass

Yesterday, I decided it was time to start going to the tanning bed. I am going to be in a wedding in about a month and thought I should look nice for it. Plus, I hope to go to the beach sometime soon and don’t want to blind anyone with my whiteness.

So, the tanning bed I used to go to has a new location fairly close to my house. I get out of my car and head up to the door. I pull on the door only to find that it’s locked. I’m thinking, “Surely they can’t be closed at 5:00 on a Tuesday” so I squint to look through the glare on the door and into the store. I’m startled when I realize I am face to face with a good looking blond fellow. He laughs and motions me to use the other door. A little embarrassed, I chuckle and head over to the other door. When I get inside, I realize the door I was trying to come in is lined with chairs full of people who are all laughing at me for trying to come in the wrong door. The blond guy is doubled over in his chair laughing, to which I say jokingly, “It wasn’t that funny.”

I go up to the counter and give them my updated address and pay to restart my membership account. When I am done, I turn around to take my seat and the good-looking blond guy says, “So, how have you been?” Oh, great! I even know this guy… I think? I guess he could see the confusion on my face and says, “You don’t remember me do you?”

Searching his face, I say “You look so familiar and I’m trying to place you…”

To which he says, “The last time you saw me I had very long blond hair.” Then I realize he is someone I went to high school with that I haven’t seen in seven years. Great! It’s always nice to run into someone you haven’t seen in years, and manage to make yourself look like a moron. And to top it off, I stayed in the tanning bed for a little too long and I burned my butt. Literally… just my butt. Gives a whole new meaning to “pain in the ass.”

Wardrobe Malfunction

This was an extremely busy weekend for me! I feel like I didn't have a chance to slow down and rest for one moment. Friday as soon as I got off work I ran home and changed into some painting clothes and headed to my bestest friend's house to help her paint and install new doors on their house. I also chopped vegetables and made spinach dip for her wedding shower the following day. I ended up not getting home till nearly 2am.

So needless to say, I was not happy to hear the alarm go off early on a Saturday morning. But I had agreed to help out at a car wash fundraiser given by the Pike Road Volunteer Fire Department. So, I went out there to help for a few hours, then had to rush home and change clothes and get ready for the wedding shower. I had bought a new white dress from American Eagle a couple of months ago and was excited to finally have a good opportunity to wear it. This is the dress:

I thought it looked cute and was appropriate for the occasion. I was, though, slightly embarrassed when I arrived at the shower and was informed that the pale pink waistband on my panties was visible through the back of my dress. But whatever, they are just panties, right? About and hour into the shower, it starts to pour down rain as we expected. Guests began to leave to beat the worst part of the storm. My mother had arrived a bit late since she had taken my sister to an appointment. She was sitting down to eat so I offered to move her van to let someone else out. Bad idea. Very bad idea. My pretty white dress got soaked and became completely see-through. Luckily, when I re-entered the house, the first person to see me was Jennifer's aunt who quickly told me she could see straight through my dress and was well aware that I was not wearing a bra. Greeeeat! I at least had the forethought to bring jeans and a t-shirt to change into after the shower. So, luckily I was able to change before too many people saw my personals!

I did get the chance to sleep in a bit on Sunday morning. I had to work at American Eagle that afternooon until close. We got a whole new floorset in and I think I literally want one of everything! We got some new shirts which I think are very creative and cute. The words are printed on the inside and show through to the outside. The ONLY problem that I have with this... is that everytime I refold all the shirts and get that table looking nice, someone comes right behind me and goes "Oh cute, what does it say" turns them inside out and throws them back on the table. Thanks... really. That's what I am here for apparently. So be warned... if you come in to shop, and I know you, and I see you do such a thing... I WILL kick you. You have been fairly warned.

Double Duty Day!

I'm sure you have an idea of what is coming just from the title. So here goes...

I went to Burger King today to pick up lunch for me and a friend. Since I ordered two drinks, I recieved the following drink holder:

And the title was enough to make me giggle, but I read the description of the Double Duty Box. Since you probably can't see it in the picture, it reads as follows:

A lot of people wonder why it was decided upon to make a two-cup carrier as opposed to say, a one-cup or three-cup carrier. Well, a one-cup carrier is called just a cup. So that was pretty much out. And a three-cup carrier would have to be shaped into some strange triangle, and balancing that contraption would be more trouble than it's worth. So we settled on two. Hopefully it serves you well.

I was entertained. So, I get back from lunch and I call a certain theater here in Montgomery because I saw a commercial on tv last night that led me to believe that a certain play I was interested in seeing had been extended through this weekend. I was told by the box office representative that no, it was not, and she didn't know anything about a commercial. I was pretty confused and actually was beginning to think I was crazy so I emailed the administrative office to inquire (mostly to prove to myself that I was not, in fact, insane) and that such commercial did exist. I received this reply:

Dear OmySue:
Thank you for your input. The performance run [certain play] was cut short due to low attendance. The final performance was Saturday. Our ad spaces are purchased in advance and do not reflect this update. We do apologies for any incontinence or confusion this may have caused.

I overlooked it at first, but yes, he said incontinence! Certainly he doesn't think that I was so upset that I peed myself? I'm thinking he meant "inconvenience." I'll continue to hope so anyway!