Pain in the Ass

Yesterday, I decided it was time to start going to the tanning bed. I am going to be in a wedding in about a month and thought I should look nice for it. Plus, I hope to go to the beach sometime soon and don’t want to blind anyone with my whiteness.

So, the tanning bed I used to go to has a new location fairly close to my house. I get out of my car and head up to the door. I pull on the door only to find that it’s locked. I’m thinking, “Surely they can’t be closed at 5:00 on a Tuesday” so I squint to look through the glare on the door and into the store. I’m startled when I realize I am face to face with a good looking blond fellow. He laughs and motions me to use the other door. A little embarrassed, I chuckle and head over to the other door. When I get inside, I realize the door I was trying to come in is lined with chairs full of people who are all laughing at me for trying to come in the wrong door. The blond guy is doubled over in his chair laughing, to which I say jokingly, “It wasn’t that funny.”

I go up to the counter and give them my updated address and pay to restart my membership account. When I am done, I turn around to take my seat and the good-looking blond guy says, “So, how have you been?” Oh, great! I even know this guy… I think? I guess he could see the confusion on my face and says, “You don’t remember me do you?”

Searching his face, I say “You look so familiar and I’m trying to place you…”

To which he says, “The last time you saw me I had very long blond hair.” Then I realize he is someone I went to high school with that I haven’t seen in seven years. Great! It’s always nice to run into someone you haven’t seen in years, and manage to make yourself look like a moron. And to top it off, I stayed in the tanning bed for a little too long and I burned my butt. Literally… just my butt. Gives a whole new meaning to “pain in the ass.”