Things to come...

Let’s hope the lack of organization at the hospital today during my pre-opp appointment is NO indication of how smoothly things will go tomorrow. I waited in the lab waiting room for over and hour and a half for them just to draw blood. I asked what had taken so long for them to call me back and they said that no one told them I was waiting. I mean, what the hell! Hopefully, they have their shit straight when it comes to surgery!?

But I did see something interesting while I was there. I think it finally made the “light bulb” come on. There was a very elderly couple there waiting in the lab as well. The man was insistent that it was cold and he should go to the car and get her sweater. And everyone knows how hospital parking is. Even though she said she was fine, the man left to retrieve her sweater. But, you could see the love and concern in his eyes for his wife who was obviously ill. That’s what I want. That’s what I deserve. I loved Jason that deeply but I don’t think he ever felt that way about me. If he did, he didn’t show it the way I did. I want someone who loves me the way I loved him. I deserve it. And I know I will find it someday… when I least expect it. So, until it finds me, I will be busy making myself a stronger independent person and learning more about myself. I will take this time for self-reflection and growth.

So, tomorrow is a big day and I am quite nervous. I didn’t realize just how nervous until the nurse was explaining more about what will happen tomorrow. I have to be there at 6:30am but the surgery is not until 9:30am. I may go crazy laying around waiting and being nervous for that long. I just hope it all goes smoothly and I will be able to go home right away as planned. So wish me luck everyone. I appreciate all of you that expressed concerns and have been praying for me. Every little bit counts. Thanks!