Jennifer and I finally got the few pictures we took off of her digital camera today. I posted them on my Myspace page for those of you who had asked to see them. We forgot to take the camera to Grand Central but we managed to remember to snap a few before leaving the hotel. Here is the link for those who wanted to see them: Mobile Pics
Everyone have a great and safe holiday weekend!
Friday, June 30, 2006
Pics from Mobile... finally!
Jennifer and I finally got the few pictures we took off of her digital camera today. I posted them on my Myspace page for those of you who had asked to see them. We forgot to take the camera to Grand Central but we managed to remember to snap a few before leaving the hotel. Here is the link for those who wanted to see them: Mobile Pics
Everyone have a great and safe holiday weekend!
Everyone have a great and safe holiday weekend!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
What a Novel Idea
Today has been a really good day so far. Not the most productive, but good. I had lunch with my boss and 2 co-workers, since tomorrow is my boss's last day. I am so sad to see her go but also very excited for her new adventures. But I always have a great time gossiping with those ladies! One in particular, Margaret, reminds me very much of my Aunt Carol who passed away just over a year ago. They are really great people.
So for the past few days, I have been brainstorming over ideas for the book that I am determined to write. I have been coming up with plot twists and turns but mostly character analysis before I begin. The peices are beginning to fall into place and I am looking forwared to just jumping right in and starting to write. It helps that Jennifer is being so supportive. I run ideas by her and she helps me decide whether or not they will work or are interesting or not. Some friends are not being quite as supportive... but what do I care, right? They'll see when I get into this that I am not kidding and that I can really do this. This is a childhood dream that I am picking back up. It just took me reaching the right time in my life to decide to finally do it. I am finished with school and have all the free time in the world in the evenings and weekends to devote to writing if thats what I really want to do. And the best part is, I can do all the typography and cover design myself... being a graphic designer and all, you know. I'll be able to market it when the time comes!
There is also a beginning writers convention coming up toward the end of July. I am thinking of going to that. Maybe I can con Jennifer into making the trip with me? How could she turn down the opportunity to go shopping in Atlanta, right? Things are looking up for me, regardless of what some may think. Opportunities are arising and I am taking things one big step at a time!
So for the past few days, I have been brainstorming over ideas for the book that I am determined to write. I have been coming up with plot twists and turns but mostly character analysis before I begin. The peices are beginning to fall into place and I am looking forwared to just jumping right in and starting to write. It helps that Jennifer is being so supportive. I run ideas by her and she helps me decide whether or not they will work or are interesting or not. Some friends are not being quite as supportive... but what do I care, right? They'll see when I get into this that I am not kidding and that I can really do this. This is a childhood dream that I am picking back up. It just took me reaching the right time in my life to decide to finally do it. I am finished with school and have all the free time in the world in the evenings and weekends to devote to writing if thats what I really want to do. And the best part is, I can do all the typography and cover design myself... being a graphic designer and all, you know. I'll be able to market it when the time comes!
There is also a beginning writers convention coming up toward the end of July. I am thinking of going to that. Maybe I can con Jennifer into making the trip with me? How could she turn down the opportunity to go shopping in Atlanta, right? Things are looking up for me, regardless of what some may think. Opportunities are arising and I am taking things one big step at a time!
Love is All You Need
I want to retract a statement I made in a blog last week. Love is not overrated. To agree with the old cliches, love conquers all... love makes the world go 'round. It's everything! You can't kill it or make it go away when its there and you certainly can't create it when its not there. It is something to be respected and cherished. As the Beatles say, "All You Need is Love." Right, Dave?
Different people make different decisions, at different times, for different reasons. People make decisions to follow their dreams and passions. Some people are finance driven, some people a career driven... I am love driven. My biggest dream is not have a job that I love and make lots of money doing it. My biggest dream is finding someone that I love and can't live without and knowing that he feels the same way about me. I make decisions for my life that will lead me in that direction.
In fact, not long ago, I was called and asked to apply for a job in Birmingham with a ad agency. It was a job that I would have loved to do and probably would have paid considerably well. I chose not to even try for the job, although Jason was extremely supportive of me going for it, because I prefered to stay in Montgomery and sleep in the same bed with him every night. He has a few years of school left and I chose to stay with the man that I loved. Now, some of you may say that I made a mistake. Especially considering that Jason and I broke up 3 or 4 months later and I could potentially have been working a great job in Birmingham. But, I disagree. Those 3 or 4 months were some of the best times of my life and I wouldn't have traded a moment of it for the world, much less a good job or better pay. I made the decision that would make me the happiest at the time and I don't regret it.
I am in no way knocking people that don't live that way. If your big dream is to be involved in whatever industry it is that you are passionate about... then by all means, make the decisions that will take you closer and closer to that dream. It's an exciting life to travel the world and meet new and interesting people. I don't see anything wrong with that. I simple say... I am not that dedicated to any job and never will be. If the person I love is content moving around the country with me to follow a career, then I might consider it. I full respect for the people that do. What kind of person would I be if I said that our brave military men who are overseas fighting for out country don't love their spouses because they willingly enlisted in the army or marines? I have complete respect for them and the women that stay home praying everynight for their safe return. I will never be one of those women. I watched my mother struggle through several years of my father being overseas when I was young. We also moved almost every year and it was difficult for my siblings and I to make solid friendships that would last longer than a year. I don't want that for my spouse or for my children. I want to settle in one place (not necessarily here) and start a family and establish a sense of stability and community there. I want a home. And I do realize that I am different in this way than most people. But this is the person that I have developed into from my past experiences in life.
Some people seem to be sensitive about the decisions they make. Maybe they are insecure about it themselves and that is why they get defensive easily? Maybe the integrity of their decision has been questioned before? But certainly not by me. I do not jusdge others and their decisions. And regardless of what someone may think or say, I have had nothing negative to say to anyone about others decisions... but merely describe my own passions. I do my best to be a friend and to support others and their decisions and sometimes that becomes difficult when you feel stuck in the middle between two friends. I don't feel that I should defend any of my actions of the last few months because I have done nothing wrong. I have nothing to hide. I am good person, and contrary to recent accusation... I am not vindictive or conniving. I also understand that some people are jaded by fake people in their past who pretend to be your friend, yet are secretly stabbing you in the back. I am not one of those people. And anyone who believes that I am that sort of perons was probably never a real friend to begin with. I hate to toss in the towel on what I thought was a good friendship, but I am extremely offended by the accusations that have been made against me. It's funny how time and distance can change a persons perspective. Maybe when the distance is no longer there, things will change and that person will realize that I am just the same person I was when they left. No different. Maybe they won't? But for now, I am not concerned. The people who really care about me are still here and know the truth. And at this point, that is all that matters to me.
Different people make different decisions, at different times, for different reasons. People make decisions to follow their dreams and passions. Some people are finance driven, some people a career driven... I am love driven. My biggest dream is not have a job that I love and make lots of money doing it. My biggest dream is finding someone that I love and can't live without and knowing that he feels the same way about me. I make decisions for my life that will lead me in that direction.
In fact, not long ago, I was called and asked to apply for a job in Birmingham with a ad agency. It was a job that I would have loved to do and probably would have paid considerably well. I chose not to even try for the job, although Jason was extremely supportive of me going for it, because I prefered to stay in Montgomery and sleep in the same bed with him every night. He has a few years of school left and I chose to stay with the man that I loved. Now, some of you may say that I made a mistake. Especially considering that Jason and I broke up 3 or 4 months later and I could potentially have been working a great job in Birmingham. But, I disagree. Those 3 or 4 months were some of the best times of my life and I wouldn't have traded a moment of it for the world, much less a good job or better pay. I made the decision that would make me the happiest at the time and I don't regret it.
I am in no way knocking people that don't live that way. If your big dream is to be involved in whatever industry it is that you are passionate about... then by all means, make the decisions that will take you closer and closer to that dream. It's an exciting life to travel the world and meet new and interesting people. I don't see anything wrong with that. I simple say... I am not that dedicated to any job and never will be. If the person I love is content moving around the country with me to follow a career, then I might consider it. I full respect for the people that do. What kind of person would I be if I said that our brave military men who are overseas fighting for out country don't love their spouses because they willingly enlisted in the army or marines? I have complete respect for them and the women that stay home praying everynight for their safe return. I will never be one of those women. I watched my mother struggle through several years of my father being overseas when I was young. We also moved almost every year and it was difficult for my siblings and I to make solid friendships that would last longer than a year. I don't want that for my spouse or for my children. I want to settle in one place (not necessarily here) and start a family and establish a sense of stability and community there. I want a home. And I do realize that I am different in this way than most people. But this is the person that I have developed into from my past experiences in life.
Some people seem to be sensitive about the decisions they make. Maybe they are insecure about it themselves and that is why they get defensive easily? Maybe the integrity of their decision has been questioned before? But certainly not by me. I do not jusdge others and their decisions. And regardless of what someone may think or say, I have had nothing negative to say to anyone about others decisions... but merely describe my own passions. I do my best to be a friend and to support others and their decisions and sometimes that becomes difficult when you feel stuck in the middle between two friends. I don't feel that I should defend any of my actions of the last few months because I have done nothing wrong. I have nothing to hide. I am good person, and contrary to recent accusation... I am not vindictive or conniving. I also understand that some people are jaded by fake people in their past who pretend to be your friend, yet are secretly stabbing you in the back. I am not one of those people. And anyone who believes that I am that sort of perons was probably never a real friend to begin with. I hate to toss in the towel on what I thought was a good friendship, but I am extremely offended by the accusations that have been made against me. It's funny how time and distance can change a persons perspective. Maybe when the distance is no longer there, things will change and that person will realize that I am just the same person I was when they left. No different. Maybe they won't? But for now, I am not concerned. The people who really care about me are still here and know the truth. And at this point, that is all that matters to me.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Today is the day
Today is one of the "blah" days... nothing exciting to do. I'm getting my hair cut and highlighted today. At least that is something to look forward to? I am just overly anxious today. I have that gut feeling that something bad is about to happen to me? Not something horrible, but something that is going to make me unhappy. I think bad news is coming. So, why do I torture myself? Whyt can't I want things that aren't so complicated? Why can't I just be happy alone and not rely on someone else's company to make me feel secure. I can't seem to tell myself, "No, this is not good for you." I can in my head, but I can't make myself follow that. I have got to just let go. I've got to just let things happen on their own and trust that what is supposed to happen, will. No one can make another person feel or behave a certain way. This is out of my control and I just need to step back and remove myself from a situation that is only going to hurt me in the end. I have no one else to blame if I stand here and let myself get trampled on. I just hope it isn't too late.
The problem is... I think too deeply, I hang on too tight, I feel too strongly... about everything. I need to focus. I need to focus my energy on something constructive and I am going to start today. I am no longer going to think about writing... I just have to start. A novel. That's what I want to do. I have all kinds of ideas of what type and style of writing I want to do. I just need to nail it down and jump in head first. It's the only way to start, I think. It starts today.
The problem is... I think too deeply, I hang on too tight, I feel too strongly... about everything. I need to focus. I need to focus my energy on something constructive and I am going to start today. I am no longer going to think about writing... I just have to start. A novel. That's what I want to do. I have all kinds of ideas of what type and style of writing I want to do. I just need to nail it down and jump in head first. It's the only way to start, I think. It starts today.
Monday, June 26, 2006
Having a blast... for now
I had a blast this weekend. I felt better than I have felt in a very long time. The band was excellent and so was the company. If I could just keep my two best friends from arguing like cats and dogs, life would be perfect. Its hard when the two people you love the most constantly bang heads with each other and you are left in the middle. But I guess that is part of life and something I will learn to deal with, or maybe they will. I'd hate to feel like I am supposed to spend any more or less time with either of them for the sake of spending time with the other. Sigh... life gets so complicated.
So, is happiness a relative term? Is being happy for the wrong reasons still true happiness? I don't know. I know that I am happy and I feel good about some particular things that are happening in my life right now. But at the same time, they terrify me. I know what I want to happen... but somehow I think I know that it won't. I know what I want, but somehow I know that I won't get it. I find myself digging this hole deeper and deeper... and I know I need to get out because soon enough, it will be deep enough for me to bury myself in it. I don't want to be heart-broken again... but I know it is coming. I can feel it. But you can't make someone open their eyes... they have to really see on their own. They have to follow their own path and you just have to hope that your paths will cross in the way that you want them to. I'm hanging on to hope. Hoping that I can trust in the way that I feel. Not wanting to give up. Not wanting to let go. I wish I could tell him... but it wouldn't make a difference. So, instead... I will be happy for now. I'll be happy for now and wait for the depression train to make a u-turn and come run me over again. I'll be ready this time.
Friday, June 23, 2006
Love... It's Overrated
Although I didn't really need to spend the money, I treated myself to a little shopping spree yesterday. New shirts, new jammies, new silver necklace and some new lovely silver rings. I wanted to have something new and cute to wear on Saturday night in Mobile. I suceeded. I even bought myself a "french maid style" shirt which is something I thought I would never wear. But I am feeling so much better about myself and my body these days that I thought I would try something a little different. : )
I wore a t-shirt last night that I haven't been able to wear in a long time. It's funny how a piece of clothing can bring back memories. It's a tight fitting T from American Eagle that say "Love... it's Overrated." The funny thing about the shirt is that I have two of them. When Jason and I broke up the first time, two completely different people bought me the same shirt in the same week. It was pretty ironic I thought. And I felt like it was appropriate for me to be wearing it yesterday. Love these days really is overrated.
So, on the way home, Jenn and I stopped and picked up dinner and went and ate with John and Cameron. We hung out and watched tv for a while, then I went home. It started thundering and lightning on my way home which was great. I love a good storm. I changed into something comfortable and climbed into my big comfy bed and read my latest book. I usually have trouble sleeping, but when John called a couple hours later, I had fallen asleep with my nose in my book. It must have been the rain and thunder... it always helps me sleep.
And I am so glad that its Friday. This week has seemed to drag on and on. I don't plan to do much tonight since I need to save money for the weekend... but a nice dinner and maybe a movie and knowing that I don't have to wake up early is enough to make me happy. And then the next day, Mobile here I come!
I wore a t-shirt last night that I haven't been able to wear in a long time. It's funny how a piece of clothing can bring back memories. It's a tight fitting T from American Eagle that say "Love... it's Overrated." The funny thing about the shirt is that I have two of them. When Jason and I broke up the first time, two completely different people bought me the same shirt in the same week. It was pretty ironic I thought. And I felt like it was appropriate for me to be wearing it yesterday. Love these days really is overrated.
So, on the way home, Jenn and I stopped and picked up dinner and went and ate with John and Cameron. We hung out and watched tv for a while, then I went home. It started thundering and lightning on my way home which was great. I love a good storm. I changed into something comfortable and climbed into my big comfy bed and read my latest book. I usually have trouble sleeping, but when John called a couple hours later, I had fallen asleep with my nose in my book. It must have been the rain and thunder... it always helps me sleep.
And I am so glad that its Friday. This week has seemed to drag on and on. I don't plan to do much tonight since I need to save money for the weekend... but a nice dinner and maybe a movie and knowing that I don't have to wake up early is enough to make me happy. And then the next day, Mobile here I come!
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Road Trip
I am really looking forward to this weekend. I haven't taken a road trip in forever! We are headed to Mobile
And on a completely different note... I'm so happy with things right now that it's scary. My life is like a roller coaster... I am afraid of the 'ups' because I know that means I will be headed back down. What a terrible cliche, right? But that's honestly how I feel. But I guess the only thing for me to do is continue to do things that make me feel so great... reading, spending time with the few important people in my life, writing. And I think I may be beginning a new path for myself. A newly developed friendship has encouraged me to follow a childhood dream. A dream which was stifled by so many people many years ago. I chose a career path that I thought would bring me money and success. So far, it has been treating me pretty well, but it's not my dream. It's not my passion. I am not saying I am going to quit my job or do anything crazy. But I am definitely going to look into other options. I want to write! I had forgotten how much I love it. I had forgotten how incredible it feels to express myself in written words and for others to read it and be impacted by it. I think I am finally really inspired to head in the right direction. Wish me luck.
And on a completely different note... I'm so happy with things right now that it's scary. My life is like a roller coaster... I am afraid of the 'ups' because I know that means I will be headed back down. What a terrible cliche, right? But that's honestly how I feel. But I guess the only thing for me to do is continue to do things that make me feel so great... reading, spending time with the few important people in my life, writing. And I think I may be beginning a new path for myself. A newly developed friendship has encouraged me to follow a childhood dream. A dream which was stifled by so many people many years ago. I chose a career path that I thought would bring me money and success. So far, it has been treating me pretty well, but it's not my dream. It's not my passion. I am not saying I am going to quit my job or do anything crazy. But I am definitely going to look into other options. I want to write! I had forgotten how much I love it. I had forgotten how incredible it feels to express myself in written words and for others to read it and be impacted by it. I think I am finally really inspired to head in the right direction. Wish me luck.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Happy?
Isn't it lunch time yet? I hate Mondays. I've been busy this morning though, so it seems to be going by quicker than usual.
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Tangled Up
I am not quite sure how I manage to get myself into these things. I try to be a good friend to one and end up looking like the enemy to another. I never learn that I should just listen when a friend needs an ear and not say a word because that person may turn around and use my words negatively in a battle with another. And why do I care so much? If people want to fight over silly things, I should just let them and don’t let them drag me into it. But I can’t seem to help myself when it comes to this person because he has really been there for me over these past couple of months and I felt like I was returning the favor. I thought I was just being there for him, not giving him ammunition. I didn’t point any fingers or make any accusations… just answered the questions that I was asked. I don’t think I should be blamed for that. It’s not my fault that they both have jealousy issues and even the mentioning of a name causes anger. Grow up, right?
So that has been my day so far… worrying about things I shouldn’t care about when I have enough going on in my own world. I am so exhausted again today. I couldn’t sleep again last night. But at least it is finally payday and I can go out and do something for myself if I want tonight. My brother and his new wife invited me to go with them but I hate to be a third wheel these days, so I think John is going to go with me. It’s $3 margarita night and that sounds like a good idea to me! And then tomorrow is finally Friday! I can’t wait to sleep in this weekend!
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Waves of Change
Things around me are changing so quickly that sometimes it makes my head spin. I went from feeling lost and confined to feeling like I have too many options. I am so indecisive about stupid little things... like where should we go for dinner... that bigger decisions seem impossible. I find myself making decisions that I don't understand why I make. I'm really confused and on edge all the time. It's like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop... but I'm not really sure why? Or even who I think is going to drop it? I am busy trying to be a good friend and just a good person in general and sometimes it is harder than it should be. I don't trust my own judgement, my own feelings... and I am depressed all the time and I don't know why. I should be happy right now. Things are really starting to look up for me. Finally. Maybe I will feel better tonight after my dinner date. And maybe I will feel better if I actually get some sleep.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Bumpy Day
Today is my first day back to work since the surgery. I didn't get off to the greatest start but I am feeling much better now. I am going to blame this morning's stomach problems on John for taking me to Guthrie's last night. No more greasy foods for me!!
I had my post-op appointment this morning and everything seems to be ok. The surgeon did mention that when he removed my gall bladder, there was no stone in it and was pretty sure there was one in the ultrasound. What does that mean? It means that I passed the stone before the surgery and there is a small chance that it could get lodged somewhere else. Great news, right? He did say that it was unlikely and that if it were to happen, it would occur in the first 6 months. So let's all keep our fingers crossed that I am in the clear.
I have been really anxious today. I don't think about anything in particular... just general anxiety about coming back to work and catching up on all the things I have to do. I guess I got spoiled sleeping in all week and watching movies all day. Too bad I had to come back to work.
But yesterdy was relaxing. I slept a lot. My "new friend" called and asked if I wanted to go for a ride on his new motorcycle. He had even borrowed a helmet from someone for me to wear. Although it wasn't on my post-op sheet of things not to do in the next week or two, I believe that they wouldn't have recommended me riding on the back of a motorcycle days after surgery. So, I took a raincheck... but we are planning to have dinner together again on Wednesday night. I am really looking forward to it.
Since I didn't go for a ride, John was nice enough to come pick me up. I wasn't supposed to start driving again until after my post-op appointment today and I was going a little stir-crazy at the house alone. We watched a few comedy shows and The Hills Have Eyes over at his house. It was really nice to just be out of the house!! The movie was pretty gory but quite entertaining. I love a good horror movie!
Well I guess that is enough rambling for today. I haven't blogged much lately so I guess I had to catch up. One more hour then I get to go home! Thank goodness! I think I need a nap.
I had my post-op appointment this morning and everything seems to be ok. The surgeon did mention that when he removed my gall bladder, there was no stone in it and was pretty sure there was one in the ultrasound. What does that mean? It means that I passed the stone before the surgery and there is a small chance that it could get lodged somewhere else. Great news, right? He did say that it was unlikely and that if it were to happen, it would occur in the first 6 months. So let's all keep our fingers crossed that I am in the clear.
I have been really anxious today. I don't think about anything in particular... just general anxiety about coming back to work and catching up on all the things I have to do. I guess I got spoiled sleeping in all week and watching movies all day. Too bad I had to come back to work.
But yesterdy was relaxing. I slept a lot. My "new friend" called and asked if I wanted to go for a ride on his new motorcycle. He had even borrowed a helmet from someone for me to wear. Although it wasn't on my post-op sheet of things not to do in the next week or two, I believe that they wouldn't have recommended me riding on the back of a motorcycle days after surgery. So, I took a raincheck... but we are planning to have dinner together again on Wednesday night. I am really looking forward to it.
Since I didn't go for a ride, John was nice enough to come pick me up. I wasn't supposed to start driving again until after my post-op appointment today and I was going a little stir-crazy at the house alone. We watched a few comedy shows and The Hills Have Eyes over at his house. It was really nice to just be out of the house!! The movie was pretty gory but quite entertaining. I love a good horror movie!
Well I guess that is enough rambling for today. I haven't blogged much lately so I guess I had to catch up. One more hour then I get to go home! Thank goodness! I think I need a nap.
Sunday, June 11, 2006
A Good Evening
For those of you who are curious, and I know several of you are because you have been calling, the first date tonight went very well. I still haven't gotten all of my energy back after the surgery so he offered to come over to my house and cook chicken and dumplings from scratch. How could I turn that down, right? The movie we watched wasn't that great but the company definetly was. I really enjoyed the conversation and getting to know him better, and we are finding that we have a lot in common. I say first date, because I think it will be the first of many. I look forward to seeing him again... and I think it will be soon. Good night everyone... or good morning... whatever it is right now... I'm going to try to go to sleep now : )
Monday, June 05, 2006
Things to come...
Let’s hope the lack of organization at the hospital today during my pre-opp appointment is NO indication of how smoothly things will go tomorrow. I waited in the lab waiting room for over and hour and a half for them just to draw blood. I asked what had taken so long for them to call me back and they said that no one told them I was waiting. I mean, what the hell! Hopefully, they have their shit straight when it comes to surgery!?
But I did see something interesting while I was there. I think it finally made the “light bulb” come on. There was a very elderly couple there waiting in the lab as well. The man was insistent that it was cold and he should go to the car and get her sweater. And everyone knows how hospital parking is. Even though she said she was fine, the man left to retrieve her sweater. But, you could see the love and concern in his eyes for his wife who was obviously ill. That’s what I want. That’s what I deserve. I loved Jason that deeply but I don’t think he ever felt that way about me. If he did, he didn’t show it the way I did. I want someone who loves me the way I loved him. I deserve it. And I know I will find it someday… when I least expect it. So, until it finds me, I will be busy making myself a stronger independent person and learning more about myself. I will take this time for self-reflection and growth.
So, tomorrow is a big day and I am quite nervous. I didn’t realize just how nervous until the nurse was explaining more about what will happen tomorrow. I have to be there at 6:30am but the surgery is not until 9:30am. I may go crazy laying around waiting and being nervous for that long. I just hope it all goes smoothly and I will be able to go home right away as planned. So wish me luck everyone. I appreciate all of you that expressed concerns and have been praying for me. Every little bit counts. Thanks!
But I did see something interesting while I was there. I think it finally made the “light bulb” come on. There was a very elderly couple there waiting in the lab as well. The man was insistent that it was cold and he should go to the car and get her sweater. And everyone knows how hospital parking is. Even though she said she was fine, the man left to retrieve her sweater. But, you could see the love and concern in his eyes for his wife who was obviously ill. That’s what I want. That’s what I deserve. I loved Jason that deeply but I don’t think he ever felt that way about me. If he did, he didn’t show it the way I did. I want someone who loves me the way I loved him. I deserve it. And I know I will find it someday… when I least expect it. So, until it finds me, I will be busy making myself a stronger independent person and learning more about myself. I will take this time for self-reflection and growth.
So, tomorrow is a big day and I am quite nervous. I didn’t realize just how nervous until the nurse was explaining more about what will happen tomorrow. I have to be there at 6:30am but the surgery is not until 9:30am. I may go crazy laying around waiting and being nervous for that long. I just hope it all goes smoothly and I will be able to go home right away as planned. So wish me luck everyone. I appreciate all of you that expressed concerns and have been praying for me. Every little bit counts. Thanks!
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Got Motivated
Finally... some motivation. Maybe it was the boredom? But I got to work putting things away and organizing my house. It looks a lot better to me. I even got motivated enough to start tearing down wallpaper in the kitchen last night. What a way to spend a Saturday night, right? But it was satisfying... for a while. Then my arms felt like they were going to fall off so I gave it a rest. I thought I would get back to it today... but my arms were sore from last night. Plus, I helped carry my new tv up the stairs and that didn't make my arms any less sore. I got a tv so that next week I can watch movies in bed instead of on the couch if I am here alone in the daytime.
I guess I am going to go get in bed early tonight so I am ready to bust tail in the morning. I need to get everything in order before I go since I will be off for a week. It'll feel like a long day. And I have my pre-opp appointment tomorrow to make sure I am healthy enough for the surgery. I'd better be because I sure don't want to have to wait any longer.
Hope everyone had a great Sunday and I hope I will hear from some of you and maybe see some of you while I am recovering. I always appreciate company! Goodnight!
I guess I am going to go get in bed early tonight so I am ready to bust tail in the morning. I need to get everything in order before I go since I will be off for a week. It'll feel like a long day. And I have my pre-opp appointment tomorrow to make sure I am healthy enough for the surgery. I'd better be because I sure don't want to have to wait any longer.
Hope everyone had a great Sunday and I hope I will hear from some of you and maybe see some of you while I am recovering. I always appreciate company! Goodnight!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
The Break-Up
I have been excited for the new movie the Break-Up with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn to come out for weeks! It came out last night and I went to see it. From the previews, you expect for it to be a bad break-up and they are fighting with each other over who gets to keep the apartment. I expected it to be hilarious. WRONG! It wasn't a bad break-up... they were both depressed about it and it was more sad than funny. I cried in the theater several times which is really not what I needed right now. I was thoroughly depressed by the time the movie was over. But I was pleased with the way they ended the movie. It wasn't one of those lovey-dovey endings where it all works out and they get back together and everyone is happy. It was real. They walked away and they moved on. That's life and that's more realistic. Sometimes it doesn't work out the way we want and we just have to cope. Lots of people starting booing when the credits began to roll. I guess they wanted their happy ending. But I was glad that they did the right thing and showed a real life ending. B/c sometime life just stinks. So, I am sorry if I ruined the movie for anyone who was planning to see it but if you wanted to see it because it is funny, it is not. So be warned.
So, I came home depressed and watched America's Funniest Home Videos and went to sleep. An exciting Friday evening, right? It was strange to not go to Up the Creek with John. That has become a ritual on Friday nights, but John is gone to Kentucky for the next week. I was kind of hoping I might hear from the guy who asked for my number at Off the Wagon... but isn't it against "the rules" to call the girl the next day, lol? But who knows, he may never call. Sobriety may have made him change his mind about wanting to take me out. I guess we will just wait and see.
I have not been very nervous about my upcoming surgery. I have actually been looking forward to it. And everyone who I have talked to who has had the surgery says its no big deal. But now that it is only a couple of days away, I am beginning to worry. I always have complications. Always. When I had surgery on my neck, it was supposed to be outpatient and I ended up having to stay overnight. Then I had an allergic reaction to the adhesive on the bandages we used on it. When I had my tonsils out last summer, I was miserable. I ended of getting an oral yeast infection which was one of the most painful things I have ever had. I just don't seem to have good luck when it comes to "the minor possibility of complications." If it can wrong, it usually happens to me. In my head I think that it will all be just fine, but my gut has this sense of impending doom. So, everyone just wish me luck and anyone who wants to come by and visit just give me a call. I'll be stuck at the house for several days.
Well, I guess I will go prepare myself for the rest of this day. My dad is coming to continue to try to fix the oven. The stovetop works... but not the oven and I can't afford to buy a new one. So, let's keep our fingers crossed that a couple of new parts will get it working again. Everyone have a great weekend!
So, I came home depressed and watched America's Funniest Home Videos and went to sleep. An exciting Friday evening, right? It was strange to not go to Up the Creek with John. That has become a ritual on Friday nights, but John is gone to Kentucky for the next week. I was kind of hoping I might hear from the guy who asked for my number at Off the Wagon... but isn't it against "the rules" to call the girl the next day, lol? But who knows, he may never call. Sobriety may have made him change his mind about wanting to take me out. I guess we will just wait and see.
I have not been very nervous about my upcoming surgery. I have actually been looking forward to it. And everyone who I have talked to who has had the surgery says its no big deal. But now that it is only a couple of days away, I am beginning to worry. I always have complications. Always. When I had surgery on my neck, it was supposed to be outpatient and I ended up having to stay overnight. Then I had an allergic reaction to the adhesive on the bandages we used on it. When I had my tonsils out last summer, I was miserable. I ended of getting an oral yeast infection which was one of the most painful things I have ever had. I just don't seem to have good luck when it comes to "the minor possibility of complications." If it can wrong, it usually happens to me. In my head I think that it will all be just fine, but my gut has this sense of impending doom. So, everyone just wish me luck and anyone who wants to come by and visit just give me a call. I'll be stuck at the house for several days.
Well, I guess I will go prepare myself for the rest of this day. My dad is coming to continue to try to fix the oven. The stovetop works... but not the oven and I can't afford to buy a new one. So, let's keep our fingers crossed that a couple of new parts will get it working again. Everyone have a great weekend!
Friday, June 02, 2006
Rehab
Rehab was great last night at Off the Wagon. I wasn't too crazy about the opening band but once they got on stage it was great. And I had a really good time with everybody. Saw several people that I haven't seen in a long time too. It's funny how much people can change in a year's time. So many people are getting married and having babies. But I talked with a guy that I "kind of" knew in high school and he asked me if he could take me out next week. He's pretty shy and it was really sweet. I think he thought I was blowing him off when I told him that I was having surgery, ha ha ha! But I gave him my number and we'll see if he calls. Who knows?
Although I had a blast last night, I am feeling some after effects this morning. My stomach is very upset... which isn't unusual... but I am extra tired and have a headache too. I didn't drink too much but the smokey atmosphere does it to me anyway. But I am here at work. I am supposed to have a meeting with someone this morning and didn't want to skip out on her. But if I am not feeling better after that, I will probably head home and go back to bed. That's a happy thought.
And before I go, I have a recommendation. I was already a fan of Woodchuck Cider... which OTW has started carrying... but I tried the Pear flavored last night for the first time and it was very good. I highly recommend it!
Hope everyone has a good Friday and a great weekend!
Although I had a blast last night, I am feeling some after effects this morning. My stomach is very upset... which isn't unusual... but I am extra tired and have a headache too. I didn't drink too much but the smokey atmosphere does it to me anyway. But I am here at work. I am supposed to have a meeting with someone this morning and didn't want to skip out on her. But if I am not feeling better after that, I will probably head home and go back to bed. That's a happy thought.
And before I go, I have a recommendation. I was already a fan of Woodchuck Cider... which OTW has started carrying... but I tried the Pear flavored last night for the first time and it was very good. I highly recommend it!
Hope everyone has a good Friday and a great weekend!
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