30 Things I Learned This Weekend

1. Concrete is heavy, even if broken into small pieces.
2. Just because you have a masonry bit for your drill that says “for concrete” does not mean it will drill through it easily or even at all.
3. When using tools in a two story house, what you need will always be downstairs when you are upstairs and vice versa.
4. Flying busted concrete is unpredictable and painful, especially when it is unexpected. I highly recommend eye protection.
5. There is a maximum number of times one can swing a sledgehammer in one day.
6. Montgomery City Waste Management cans have a maximum weight. Wheels and the can will bend if this weight is exceeded, possibly turning over and spilling heavy concrete in your front yard.
7. Concrete is not flexible and this is not negotiable.
8. Large chunks of concrete in your front yard serve as not only lawn decoration, but a new perch for pigeons and other birds.
9. It will rain as soon as you put wood in the back of a pick-up to bring it home.
10. Sheets of concrete backer board will fit in a convertible if you just put the top down. (Note: they will also scratch the paint if you slide them across the car as you put them in/out)
11. You should always be friendly to your neighbors. You never know when you might need them to help you carry something heavy from your car into the house (See 10)
12. When cutting pieces of wood, you should mark which piece you intend to use and make sure you have the right one before you pound nails into it and carry it upstairs to put in place.
13. People who say, “measure twice, cut once” know what they are talking about.
14. When you call someone and ask them to bring you a tool, you will most likely find another way to accomplish your mission before that person arrives with said tool.
15. What you planned to accomplish today almost never translates into what you did accomplish today.
16. Don’t laugh at someone when they hammer their own finger. Remember karma. If you laugh, it will happen to you moments later.
17. Sometimes spare parts can be found in a wall. Don’t panic if you unexpectedly remove a piece of pipe, as it may not have been connected to anything in the first place.
18. If you are sitting in a tub pounding on the wall and you feel something wet on your head, don’t accuse the person behind you of spitting on you. Consider first that they showerhead may be dripping.
19. When using a sledgehammer on one side of a wall, don’t be oblivious the fact that you are affecting the next room. You should check the status of the other side of the wall at random intervals. The wall may crack and chunks of plaster may fall out in the next room.
20. If you are a good climber, you do not necessarily need a ladder to get into an attic.
21. Make sure an ice pack, tourniquet, large bandages, and a crow bar are at least close by as they may be necessary at some point in the process.
22. Color is subjective to its environment. Just because golden brown looked good in the downstairs bathroom, doesn’t mean it won’t look like poop smeared on the wall in the upstairs bathroom.
23. Demolition dust can travel much farther than you think it can.
24. A loyal dog will follow you up and down the stairs as many times as you go, even if you tell her you will be back in one minute.
25. You can’t convince a barking dog that the knocking she just heard was your hammer, and not someone at the door.
26. A dad who's back hurts too bad to push out the garbage can at home can still use a sledgehammer on his daughter's bathroom wall.
27. Do not say "I told you so" to someone with a sledgehammer in their hand.
28. Do not say "Measure twice, cut once" to someone still holding a power tool.
29. Allowing someone to break for dinner, usually translates into letting them quit for the night.
30. The most necessary tool to survive a renovation project is a good sense of humor.