Saturday, February 10, 2007

The Movie That Is My Life

So, I'll start at the beginning... what other place, right? Bear with me, it's a long one... but well worth the read!

I left work at noon and Friday and did the last bit of running around I needed to do in town before head to Nashville. I had taken my car on Thursday night to get the oil changed at Wal-Mart and after 3 hours they called and told me they wouldn't be able to do it because my car rides too low and they couldn't get it up the ramp. So, I had to take it to an express oil on Friday and pay nearly twice as much BUT I only had to wait 10 minutes.

So I get on the road about 2:30 and the drive up was pretty nice. I did realize that maybe I should have brought some warmer clothes when I saw icicles hanging out of the rocks along the side of the road. I made it to Nashville right around rush time... good timing, right? Got to my friends and we headed out for dinner and drinks. I met several people and had a great time socializing at the restaurant. But we both had more than we should have since once of us needed to drive home. A stranger in the parking lot even told us that we should flip a coin to decide who should drive. But being unfamiliar with where I was, I obviously was not driving.

So, we make it back to his place and he passes out almost right away. For those of you who don't know me, I suffer from insomnia. I have trouble sleeping in my own room and in my own bed much less somewhere that I am unfamiliar with and where there is a cat that I am allergic to. And I also suffer from anxiety attacks. After sitting up for a while and not being able to fall asleep I start to break out in hives and I'm still not sure if it was from the cat or just anxiety. So, what do I do? I get my bags and tiptoe out to my car and leave at one o'clock in the morning. I figured if I was going to not be able to sleep all night I may as well be on the road headed home.

So, I get about 10 miles outside of Nashville and I'm just driving along going with the flow of traffic when I see blue lights in the rearview. I look down and realize I'm going more than 10 over the speed limit and yes, he is coming for me. So, in my pajamas I got a speeding ticket in Tennessee.

I drove much slower the rest of the way and was almost to Birmingham when my car started to choke and I suddenly realized... it was 4am, below freezing outside, I'm in my PJ's and I am out of gas. I was so busy focusing on staying awake that I wasn't paying attention to the gas gauge. So, I thought I was lucky because I was close to an exit ramp and was able to coast down to the bottom of it... only to find there were no gas stations in sight at this exit. There is only a sign that says "Hwy 31 Left." Almost in tears, I call that highway patrol only to be told that they don't respond to distress calls after 10pm on Friday until 6am on Monday. Which is funny... since they don't seem to mind being out writing tickets during those hours. So, they transfer me to the Warrior Police Department (which is a very small town just north of BHM for those who didn't already know). I tell the woman dispatcher where I am and she says she will send an officer to help me. She also told me not to worry that I was in a safe part of town, to which I replied that I wasn't worried because there was obviously NOBODY where I was.

After a few minutes in the cold, Officer Steve Keitges pulls up and asks "Are you the lady that doesn't know how to read a gas gauge?" I explain that my gas gauge is broken, as well as my hazard light switch. Afraid that someone might not see my car and plow into it, he requests another office come sit with my car with the lights on until we get back with a gas can. As I climb into the car with him, I assure him that I have never ridden in a police car before... to which he replied, "It could be worse, you could be riding in the back." As we ride, he jokes on me and I explain how I ended up on my way home to Montgomery at this hour which he, of course, finds hysterical. He says, "Well, your night didn't turn out all that bad. You ended up here with a good looking man like me." I laughed and he told me I wasn't supposed to laugh at that. It really was nice to have someone with a sense of humor at this point and time!

We get the gas can and get back to my car to find the other officer out of his car and shining his flashlight into the bushes. Officer Leitges hops out and asks if there is someone in the bushes. And there was... a huge coyote! So, at this point I am thinking about just how glad I am that I didn't get out of my car and try to walk to a gas station and possibly risk being eaten by a coyote!

I mean...seriously people? How does this stuff always happen to me? I have talked to several people on the phone today and told this story. For some strange reason, most of them have said "This could only happen to you." I think they are right. And somehow, I think it is all karma.

So now I am home and trying to relax and recover from my eventful Friday night. At least I am off all weekend and have time to recoup. Please, by all means... comment on this one. I have to know what you all have to say!

5 comments:

Sizzle Pizzle said...

I am still laughing (with you, of course!). The image of you rollin' in the Cammy in your PJs is so funny!!

lioux said...

Although there were parts of this tale that were UNAWESOME I'm glad everything worked out okay.

It's so important to have a sense of humor about these situations.

TRAIN WRECK said...

Holy crap Amy, you're beginning
to remind me of this guy.

Anonymous said...

Catch you next time Ames!

Amy said...

Meep meep!