Blowing off a little steam...

I know that no one wants to hear me complain so I’ll do it here.

I am frustrated with several different people for several different reasons. Some at work, some at home… etc, etc. I am tired of being a pushover and just letting people take advantage of me all the time. I am too nice of a person and I just can’t seem to say, “No, that is your problem so you deal with it.” Then, there are those friends who I feel like only call when they need something. “How are you… by the way, can you do me a favor?” It’s very tiring.

I’m also tired of all the lies I seem to get myself tangled in. I am not a liar, I don’t like to be lied to and I don’t like uphold someone else’s lies. Honesty is a very important value to me whether it be between friends or someone I am in a relationship with. If you don’t have trust, there is nothing to build a relationship on. Let’s just all tell the truth people… its just easier that way.

And I’m tired of being broke. I got paid today and wrote out all the checks for the bills that are due before next payday and my entire check is already gone. I think I might get a second job to pay the bills. I was hoping that the freelance work I have been doing would help pick up the slack, but it has not been panning out so well either. So it will be ramen noodles and easy mac for me the rest of this month.

Anyway… just felt like I needed to get that all out. And then maybe I will be able to breathe a little better and enjoy the rest of my Halloween.

Ughh, not another migraine...

My head is killing me. This is the second migraine I have had in the past week. I usually don't have so many this close together. Migraines are the devil. The DEVIL I tell you. I'm going to bed and its only 8 o'clock. I am just too busy for migraines! I have to much to do but I can't function when my head hurts this bad. So, off to bed I go...

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Costume party at Off the Wagon to see Shakedown Monkey! No cover with a costume. Everybody come out and play!

G'night!

Dog poo, dog poo, smelly stinky dog poo!

I have been resisting the urge and can’t any longer. I must tell this story. But to protect the identity of my poor friend, I will use the name Bob.

So, Bob and I have been to move a friend of his’ car. He drives her car and I drive his back to his apartment and then we are going out bowling with some friends. He parks her car around back and I pull up to the front of his apartment to pick him up. I get out and get into the passenger seat and he comes and gets in. Right away he gets on the phone, to let the friend know that the car has been moved.

When Bob closes the door, I get a whiff of this terrible smell and right away I know exactly what it is. I think “Oh no, did I step in dog poop when I got out and got in the passenger seat?” So, I check the bottom of my shoe and nothing there. But the smell is awful, so I start to giggle because I know it must be on his shoes. He is still on the phone and having a very serious conversation about his friend who is in the hospital. But, I cannot stop laughing.

I keep peaking at him out of the corner of my eye and he is sniffing the sleeve of his shirt. I laugh even harder knowing that he is thinking “Is that me?” So, I am laughing hysterically and I know he probably thinks I am farting or something and that is what the God-awful smell is.

So, when he hangs up the phone he turns to me and says, “Smell my shirt.” I refuse but can’t say anything because I am laughing so hard. He then blames the smell on the bag from Sonic from where we just ate. The laughter gets harder and harder and tears are pouring down my cheeks. I’m thinking “If our food smelled like dog poo, we shouldn’t have eaten it!”

I finally manage to say “ROLL DOWN THE WINDOWS! You must have stepped in dog poo!” Checking his shoe confirmed what I knew the whole time.

Ok, so it’s not really that funny that he stepped in dog poo. The funny part was watching him try to identify the smell while having a serious conversation. I can’t help myself. Toilet humor is funny!

Blue + Yellow = Green

It's almost 2am on a Sunday but I don't have to work tomorrow. So, what am I doing? I am up eating ramen noodles and surfing MySpace because I can't sleep. How sad my life has become.

I got nothing done today. I woke up in some pretty bad pain and ended up spending 3 hours in Primed to get some antibiotics for a urinary track infection. It's fun stuff, let me tell you! And they give you these great pills that make your pee turn funny colors. Blue + Yellow really does = Green.

Then I went and had dinner with my parents and my brother and sister-in-law. It was nice. And I got to visit with my doggie. Then I went to a friends and watched Gladiator for the probably 10th time. But its still an awesome movie. And that is pretty much all I have done today. Hopefully tomorrow will be more exciting. I at least have a few things planned so we'll just see...

Goodnight... well really good morning, but whatever... to everyone!

Renig

This is a renig on my last blog. Ok, so I am not headed to Mobile today due to circumstances beyond my control. The friend that was supposed to go with me had something unexpected come up and had to cancel. Sure, I am disappointed but the situation is certainly understandable. So, now I am not sure what I am going to do this evening.

I've been working in my yard some this afternoon and got devoured by mosquitos. I don't understand why they are so bad in the day time? But the weather is PERFECT so I thought I would take advantage of it for a little while. I raked a bunch of the magnolia leaves onto a tarp and drug them out to the road. I know this doesn't sound like something that is very hard to do, but if you could see how many bugs come running out of there everytime I raked a pile, you would understand why I think its such a big deal. I would rake a big pile onto the tarp then grab it and run to the street and dump it as fast as I could because I just KNEW a big roach or a worm would end up on me somehow. I know the neighbors think I am crazy because one work did end up on my foot and I guess flip-flops really aren't the best choice for yard work. So I kicked and screamed and ran through the yard earning some strange looks from the people next door. Oh well... what can I say? I don't like bugs on me.

Anyway... off the find something interesting to do. Anyone else bored? Call me!

Mo f’n bile Bound

I’m so excited that I am heading to Mobile this weekend to see the StrongFold boys! Anybody want to come? Grand Central is such a great bar and it’s bound to be packed this weekend with BayFest going on! And I hope to make a stop at the beach at some point before we head back up.

I’m going to the fair tonight too. I haven’t been in a couple of years so I am looking forward to that. I love to look at the school art shows, I guess since I entered every year when I was a kid. And the photography show. And of course, being the animal lover that I am... I am a sucker for that stinky little petting zoo. Why do I want to feed the goats? Who knows? But I do!

So, here is my funny story for today. I wore a new shirt today that I bought on my little shopping spree last week. It looked just fine in the mirror. But when I got to work and sat down, the cross over in the front pulls open and I had a little more booby going on than is appropriate for the office. After sitting at my desk hiding in the corner debating what to do, I decide to go visit the women in my department to see if any of them have a safety pin. As I stand up and re-adjust my shirt, a woman walks by the door and say, “You gotta keep those girls in!” I was so embarrassed! Luckily, Marcia had a safety pin and my shirt is now securely fastened closed. No more peepshow for my co-workers.

I’m so glad its Friday... and a three day weekend for me! Gotta love those state holidays! Hope everyone else has a wonderful weekend. I know I will!

Searching

I think my biggest problem these days is that I don’t know what I want. Or I changemy mind about what I want too often. I really need to set some long term goals that rely on no one but myself, and make future decisions based on reaching those goals.

For longer than I can remember, my decisions have not been based solely on what I want. I tend to make decisions to make others happy, sometimes sacrificing what I want in the process. I have done this for so long, that I am not sure what I really want anymore. And some of the things I don’t know about are major life altering things.

Years ago, when I was engaged to be married, buying a house and planning a wedding, I assumed that we would have children and was fine with that. I had thought of baby names and all sorts of things to come. After we split up and I started dating Jason, it was a whole different ballgame. With him, I didn’t want to settle down and start a family. I wanted to travel the world, buy a boat, buy a house at the beach and do all sorts of exciting things that didn’t involve being tied down by having children.

Now that I am single and have been for five months (which, by the way, is longest I have been without a “boyfriend” since I was 12 years old), I can’t really decide what it is that I really want? Do I want a child or children? I’m honestly not sure. It is actually pretty scary that when I ask myself such a serious question about what I want out of life, I can’t give myself an honest answer. I know that it has a lot to do with the anxiety problem I have. It has gotten worse over the years and I have trouble dealing with screaming children in restaurants and stores. But, everyone says it is different when they are your own. I also have very little patience with my niece. She is more than a handful and never listens, but I wonder if it would be different if it were my own child who I had been disciplining their whole life.

Isn’t the test supposed to be having a dog? I have a dog. And she lives with my parents. She moved in with them when Jason and I moved into the apartment. I had planned on her moving in with me when I bought this house, but she still hasn’t. When I leave for work, she whines and I feel guilty and worry about her all day while I am at work. She is used to having my mother there most of the time and other dogs in the house to play with, so I feel terrible leaving her there alone. Not to mention she gets mad if I am gone for too long and tears things up. But I have to wonder if I would feel the same way leaving a crying baby with a sitter? Would I feel so guilty and worried that I wouldn’t be able to focus at work? I really don’t know the answer. And I really don’t know why this is on my mind lately? I guess I have been spending more and more time with my friends that have children and it makes me wonder about my own life. I can only assume that my decision will come when it is necessary. I should know what is right for me when the time comes, right?

Congrats to Jennifer!

Yes, my very best friend is getting married! I am so excited for her. She has been waiting patiently for Prince Charming to come sweep her off her feet... and boy, was he worth the wait! Jennifer will soon become Mrs. Justin Herring. They are tentatively setting the date for late May, but I will keep everyone posted as plans get set in stone. So everyone send their congrats to Jennifer & Justin! I love both you guys!

Here are some pics of her & Justin, her ring,

the flowers he gave her (one for each day they have been dating)
and their baby doggie, Emma.

The light of day brings clarity

I'm ok. I just needed to sleep it off. Yes, my feelings were a bit hurt last night, but today I feel much better. I know that if nothing else, I have made a really good friend and so has he. I really enjoy his company and being witness to his many talents. I am smilling again... just for a different reason. So, don't worry about me. I'll be just fine!