The Boots

I’ll start the new chapter off with a fairly mild tale that will embarrass only myself. Just after high school, I hung out with a group of guys who I guess you would refer to as “techies,” one of which was my fiancé, Aaron. We pulled many all-nighters trying to beat the latest video games. This often required late night trips to the local Wal-mart for munchies.

One such night, I had recently purchased a lovely pair of the knee-high “hooker boots” that were oh-so popular that year. I bought a budget pair that I thought would be wonderful because they laced up the front for looks, but also had zippers up the side so you didn’t have to unlace them to take them off. This was a good idea in theory. The problem was, the top two laces were just those hooks that you wrap around, so every time I unzipped the boots they would slack and the laces would fall out anyway. Thus, requiring you to both lace and zip them up every time. It took way too long to get these boots on, let me tell you.

So that night I was wearing these boots at a friends’ house when the guys decide to make a run to Wal-mart. I asked Aaron if he would drive so that I could just put the boots on in the car and save us some time. He agreed and we headed out. I sat in the passenger seat in the dark feeling my way around to put the boots on. I felt the zipper and slipped my foot in and shifted my it around trying to wedge it into the bottom of the boot. It didn’t quite feel right and I thought, “Well, maybe I am trying to put the wrong shoe on the wrong foot?" So, I asked Aaron to turn on the light for a minute so I could see what I was doing.

When the lights came on, I looked down and began to laugh hysterically. My foot was inside my purse. Aaron looked over and saw it too.

Aaron: What the hell is wrong with you?

Me: (still laughing) I dunno, I just felt the zipper and shoved my foot in??

Aaron: Okay, I understand the zipper part, but didn’t you feel all the stuff in the bottom of your purse?

I have no idea. But I know that I laughed till I cried. I laughed so hard that I still didn’t have my shoes on by the time we made it to Wal-mart.