Is It Friday Yet??

This week has really drug on and on. It's only Wednesday and I really wish it were Thursday so that tomorrow would be Friday! I have so many things planned this weekend that I can't wait to do. Pedicures and other girly things Friday night! Saturday morning: headed to the lake with the girls! Saturday evening: dinner with the band guys (hopefully) and then shaking my as to some StrongFold at Off the Wagon! I am so excited again! But can't get too trashed b/c I have a first date on Sunday and I would hate to be feeling all crappy for that. That wouldn't be a good first impression, LOL!

So, lots to look forward to this weekend! Then next weekend is looong and I was really hoping to get out of town for a couple of days, but no one will confirm anything!! So we shall see what happen : )

Habitual

Today I began to notice how habitual my life has become. The alarm goes of at the same time each morning and I often mutter some sort of curse at it each time. I get up and shuffle straight to the bathroom and began performing my morning rituals. This morning, I wonder if there is a reason for the order I do things. Is it because I have found the most time efficient and best method of getting ready, or is it a slight case of OCD? The only variances in my routine involve whether or not I must walk downstairs to get what I am going to wear out of the dryer or not.

I gather my things and put them together in the same order. I slip on my shoes at the bottom of the stairs in the same place where I slide them off the everyday. I tuck my keys and phone in my purse in the same pockets in the same way. Is it to keep from losing them or is it another sign of OCD?

I always arrive just a few minutes early for work and since all other doors are locked, I always take the elevator. Since I am one of the first to arrive, I always hit “P” in the elevator before getting off to send it back down to the parking level for whoever arrives next. Is this my way of being polite or yet another sign?

I login to my computer and begin to open software, always in the same order. Is the order a matter of convenience or preference? I’m not sure. I can’t decide if the repetitiveness is my vein attempt to combat my severe forgetfulness or if it is just pure habit? It’s an interesting question. Should I break from the norm? Should I try something new? Would it throw off my whole day if I merely did things in a different order? Surely not. So, my mission tomorrow is to break out of this box and try something new!

Tired

Tired but not sleepy. Restless. Too many thoughts whirling around in my brain. I am sleepy while busy all day... but when it comes time to rest, I can't. I can't stop thinking, processing, over-analyzing, picking apart every little detail of what is bothering me today. And every night there is something new for me to dissect. Maybe I should stop the person/peope who keep giving me the issues and then I won't have a problem? Or would I just find a problem to have somewhere else? I stress myself. I let myself worry and wonder when I should just be happy and move where ever my path takes me. But the problem is, I am competely impatient. I want to see the bends in the road before I get to them. I don't want to be surprised and I don't want to be jerked around anymore. I can't do it again.! I am tired of being hurt and mistreated. But honestly I have no one to blame but myself because I have allowed once again for this to happen and let myself invest feelings where I should not. Time to suck it up and move on... again. Tired. So tired of moving on. Goodnight.

Who Needs Tomorrow...

Things will work out in the end. They always do. It's funny how just when you start to give up on something, everything changes.

I had an excellent time tonight! I met a bunch of new and wonderful people and I even reconnected with some old friends that I never expected to talk to again. I feel wonderful... though maybe I shouldn't. Who know? I am just going to go crawl into my big comfy bed and continue to smile and not worry about what tomorrow might bring, but be happy about what tonight brought. Thanks for taking me out and showing me a good time. I really needed that!

Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da!

Someone close to me told me to live my life by that philosophy and he was right... "Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Life goes on, bra!" That's all I am trying to do. Get on with the rest of my life and head in a direction that is going to make me happy. I am not quite certain what that will entain yet, but I know several things that it will not include. In the mean time, I am enjoying this journey and deciding which way to go at which fork in the road. I know I will be happy where ever I end up landing and with whoever is there at the end.

"A rolling stone gathers no moss, but leaves a trail of busted stuff" --DMB

What Shall I do?

For those of you who I haven't whined to already, I thought I should let you know, I have not fallen off the face of the Earth. MySpace has been firewalled at work and I will no longer be on during office hours. I might actually have to start working now?

If anyone needs to get in touch with me during the day, shoot me an email or a text message. I missed everyone this weekend and hope I will be able to join the group in the next outing since I get paid this week! Hope everyone had a great weekend. I did... aside from snakes falling out of trees and friends stepping in holes and breaking their ankles... yes, other than that... my weekend was great!

Funny Story For the Day

While IMing with my sister-in-law today, she gave me her new cell phone number and I programmed it into my phone. I sent her a text and this is the conversation that transpired:

ME: Testing, testing... 1... 2... 3...
JENNIFER: Who is this?
ME: Amy. ha ha
JENNIFER: Amy who? (She knows many Amy's, in fact there were 3 of us in her
wedding party)
ME: Your sister silly. Ha ha.
NOT JENNIFER: You have the wrong number!

How embarrassing is that?? I double-checked with her and she did give me the wrong number. I wonder who I was talking to? Ha ha ha. And during this time, I also managed to spill hot coffee down between my boobs. And since I am a sugar fiend, it was nice and sticky. What a lovely day I have had!

I'm on fire, I'm on fire!

Yes, I am going to see Talladega Nights: Ballad of Ricky Bobby tonight. I am looking forward to the movie as well as spending time with friends. I have caught up with old friends and made some new ones, and its really nice to have some trustworthy girlfriends again.

This weekend certainly had its ups and downs. I stayed out pretty late hanging out with the girls. Then, I didn't sleep in like usual on Saturday morning, because I went to Jennifer's (my sister-in-law) graduation at AUM. (Congrats again, Jennifer!) Then I had a wedding shower/bbq for an old family friend. It was nice to catch up with some people I haven't seen in a long time.

Then, I had a date that night. We were supposed to have dinner, but I got too full on junk at the bbq, so we ended up just hanging out my house watching movies and drinking lots of beer. I had a great time and look forward to doing it again. I am enjoying getting to know him and we went to the same high school, we know lots of the same people, etc. so we have lots to talk about. We watched Derailed, which I highly recommend to anyone who likes a good suspense movie. And of course, I recommend it to anyone who thinks Clive Owen is hot!

So, I hope everyone is having a great day... as great as a Monday can possibly be :)

The Safe Bet

Why am I always just the "safe bet?" I come with little baggage... no ex-husbands, no children, a good job, a decent house and a stable family. So, why do guys always want someone who is more "exotic" or "intriguing"? Why don't they want the "girl next door" who only wants to make them happy by cooking, cleaning, and taking care of them? I guess a simple and happy relationship is too easy, and therefore, boring. I am a simple person. I am straight-forward and always honest. It is in my nature to help people, even sometimes people I barely know. I open my heart easily and I fall deeply. And when I love, I love forever. This is me. It's who I am. Sometimes, I wish I could change, but I know that I never will. And why should I change? Certainly not for someone else! If a man does not want me for who I am, then why would I want to be with him?

Maybe someday he will change his mind. Maybe someday he will realize that the safe bet is not a bad thing. But who knows? I can't afford to spend my time waiting, wondering and wanting. I must move on and accept the decisions that have been made. But I hope that he will think long and hard... give himself the time and space necessary to sort out the confusion he is in and make the decision that will ultimately make him the happiest. What else would I possibly want for someone that I love? I hate to see him hurting and want more than anything for him to be happy. I just wish I could help. He will know what is right, when the time is right. Until then, I wish him good luck.

I believe...

I believe that everything does happen for a reason. People come in and out of our lives at different times for different reasons. But I think that everyone we meet serves a greater purpose, whether we realize it or not. I have made some really great friends in the last few weeks and really the last few months. When I felt like my life was falling apart, a small few stuck it out with me and helped me through it. I found out what true friends are and what true love is really all about. I think if you really love someone, you want them to be happy, regardless of what that means for yourself and your own happiness. If you are meant to be with someone, they will find their way to you. They will know when the time is right. If they never do, then it wasn't meant to be. Don't chase after someone who doesn't want you. Why would you want someone to be with you just because you want them to? Don't you want someone who genuinely loves you? I do. And I won't settle for someone who doesn't. Love is a crazy thing. But it is always worth the fall... even when it is not returned.

Arg, Matey!

I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest last night. I have been looking forward to it for a long time and it was well worth the wait!! The CGI was great and the comedy was good. Overall, I was really impressed and didn't think it fell into "not as good as the first one" category like many sequels do. I was impressed and absoluelty can't wait until the third one. I know many people criticized Johnny Depp for playing Captain Jack Sparrow as kind of... I don't know how else to put it but, swishy? Flamboyant even? But his mannerisms and facial expressions are what makes the character. Johnny Depp never ceased to amaze me!

So, in short, I highly recommend the movie, especially if you enjoyed the first one. "Why is the rum always gone?" Ha ha ha...

Stress Relief

It's Friday and I have been looking forward to tonight for a couple of weeks. A lot of people are already backing out on me, but that is just fine. As long as me and Jennifer are there to cheer on Dave, then I will be a happy girl. I have had an overly stressful week and I am ready to relax and have a good time. I don't want anyone to bring their drama with them tonight... let's leave it all at the door and just have a great time listening to some great music! I am tired, I still don't feel great and I really need some help getting cheered up! Don't let me down guys!

Eventful Week

Most of you know, last week I got sick and this week, it has progressed into laryngitis. I still cannot speak. But this is just one of the things that has happened this week. Allow me to elaborate!

Monday night, my car decided that it no longer understands the park position. The shifter goes into park, but when I let off the brake, it zooms backwards as if it still in reverse. I attempted to explain the problem to my dad, but he wanted to look at it instead. He sat in the drivers' seat and took off the parking brake (which was the only think keeping it still). He let off the brake and, of course, it zooms backwards. Problem is... he has the door open so he can talk to me, and it almost plows me down into the yard! Funny now, yes... but when I almost fell in the mud, not so funny at the time!

I headed home with two dogs in tow who both insisted on standing in my lap. My parents were having their A/C replaced and wanted the dogs out of the way for the day. One of the dogs had never been away from home except to the vet and the beauty shop. Needless to say, she was not happy to be joining me for the night. When I got home, she refused to walk up the stairs, couldn't get on my bed even with a stool and whined when I put her in the bed myself. I laid in bed reading for hours reading while they whined and tried to climb in my book for attention. Eventually, they exhausted and fell asleep. Shortly after, so did I.

I woke up the next morning to discover that not only did I feel worse, but I could no longer speak. Not one little sound. This makes even simple things difficult. For example, last night, I went to Taco Bell to get a quick dinner. I came very close to pulling into the drive through before I remembered I CAN'T TALK! So, I parked the car and went inside to attempt to order. She laughed at me, but got my order before she realized that the debit card machine wasn't working. So, I got back in the car and went down the street to my bank to get cash... thinking the whole time that she should have give me my $3 worth of tacos for free! I came back and parked again... this time forgetting my car malfunction and almost letting it roll backwards into someone. But then, I succesffuly purchased my tacos.

I went to Jennifer's after that to watch So You Think You Can Dance. I decided to cook us some apple turnovers for dessert. They had only been in the oven for a minute or two, when I smelled something burning. Jennifer peeked in the oven and said they looked fine. But then she did a double-take. And I mean she looked like one of those cartoon characters when their eyes bug out of their heads. One of the turnovers had magically leaped itself off the side of the cookie sheet and was scorching on the bottom of the oven!! I managed to burn my hand while using tongs to scrape it out of the bottom. Minutes later, still sitting on the couch laughing about the esacpee turnover... I forgot to take the rest of them out and burned them all.

So... this has been the kind of week I have had. I tell this long story to tell you one thing. I am ready for it to be Friday!! I don't care if I have a voice or not, I will be at Off the Wagon to support Dave and the rest of StrongFold. I hope everyone will make their best effort to make it out and to join me in celebrating the end of this crazy week!!

Mute

Today, I have no voice. Literally. I cannot speak. Not a sound. Laryngitis. It's funny how much we take our voices for granted. Hopefully this will not last long and I will be back to bitching and moaning in no time! But until then, if anyone needs me, it is much easier to text message me than to try to decipher my whispering over the phone. I hope everyone else is doing well!

Where did the weekend go?

All I can say is "What a weekend!" I was still feeling pretty sick on Friday so I decided to have an restful night at home. Jenn and I rented movies and ate muchies in our jammies. It's been a really long time since we had a girls only night. And I am really glad that we rested up or we never would have made it through Saturday night.

I know that I only just met most of you, but for those of you who do know, know that I DO NOT dance! Not at all! I have been finding myself doing all kinds of things lately that I have always been too chicken to do! It's really great. I have made so many new friends and experienced so many new things and it is boosting my self-esteem and level of courage. I have always said that I like to try new things, but I am not sure how true that has been until now. It's nice to just be able to pick up and go to the movies at 10 on a Sunday if I want (Thanks again, John, for asking me to go). Also, I often suffer from crowd anxiety and I think being part of a group has helped me cope with it. On any other day, I might have had a panic attack with how loud, hot and crowded it was in the Brew Pub on Saturday night. But, I was there with friends and I knew I would be ok.

So, to those who were new faces on Saturday... WELCOME TO THE CREW! I hope I see you all again on Friday night at Off the Wagon to see StrongFold!!

Happy Birthday, Teresa!

These are the kinds of things that happen when you go out with "the crew!"

Coronas + a shot of Jager =

A dumbass in a crazy balloon hat!

Ugh!

Ok, myspace crew... does anyone else feel like crap this morning? Anyone else have a headache?? No more Jager bombs for me on week nights!! I feel like total poo this morning!

But I wanted to make my apologies for my crappy mood last night. I allowed my feelings about just one person affect my attitude towards the whole group. I know the last thing this group needs is more drama. I think we all bring enough of our own personal drama to the table to have to worry about dealing with each others drama within the group. You guys have been wonderful to me and I have needed new friends to deal with all of the things that have been going on in my life lately.

And thanks to advice from several of you last night, I know what I need to do about my current situation. My heart is still broken from my last relationship and I am not prepared for it to happen again in any shape or form. I can't do that to myself. I have more respect for myself than to allow someone to treat me that way... especially a best friend. We'll be ok. We'll both be just fine.

Little Things

Why do I let the little things bother me so badly? I hate being such an emotional person. I just want to go home and lay in bed and cry... and nothing bad has happened. I've just got to get a grip on myself. I've done everything that I can and I just have to accept the facts. I think I already knew... but sometimes you just want to hear it straight from the horses mouth so that you can have some closure and move on. But, I guess some people just don't have the guts to say what needs to be said even when it will hurt someone. The truth hurts. But what kind of friendship or relationship can you ever have with someone if you can't be honest with each other. I am a big girl, I can handle the truth and I am sorry that someone thinks I can't. But I can read between the lines.

Oh well... onto other things! I will be just fine!

Sunday

It's Sunday. I got my first tattoo yesterday afternoon. It didn't hurt nearly as bad as I was afraid it would. The guy was very nice and made me feel very comfortable. John and I went to the Voodoo Needle in Auburn. While we were there, he got an old tattoo redone and it looks incredible!! I was so impressed. It only took 5-10 minutes to do mine but it took around 2 hours to do his.

Last night, we watched the fights on paperview at Jayson and Jennifer's then we went out with the myspace crew again. We had a good time watching drunk people ride the mechanical bull. I hope some videos start popping up on people's myspace pages soon.

So, I am about to go walking at the ASF. I haven't been to the gym or anything since before my surgery and I think I need to work back into it slowly. Walking at the ASF sounds like a good place to start. I have seen signs for a new YMCA over on Zelda Road and I hope that having a new one close to my house will help motivate me back into the gym. Especially if I have someone who will go with me.

So one last thing before I head out! I got a call from my freind Dave in Mobile. He is the drummer for the band that I went down to see a couple of weeks ago. They got booked at Off the Wagon and are playing there this Saturday night, July 15! I am counting on all of my friends to show up and support Dave and the rest of Strongfold. You can visit their webpage at www.strongfold.com and you have my asssurance that hearing them play will be well worth whatever cover charge there is that night. I mean, I drove all the way to Mobile and paid for a hotel room just to hear them play, so that says something, right?

Here is my tattoo on the middle of my back.

Here is John's redone tattoo. Kay did an excellent job!